[Tangent: what are you guys thinking about alleged upcoming end-of-all-things on the 21st of this month? I read a book this week that was lent to me by a friend, called HOPE: Healing Our People and Earth which theorises that rather than the end of days, on the 21st we will begin to experience a 'cosmic shift' towards a collective consciousness and a more peaceful, mindful existence. I think I'd much rather a cosmic shift than explosions, zombies, fire and death, so I'm rooting for that one myself!]
Doomsday aside, this week I'm celebrating:
- A beautiful shopping trip with my bestie at Winchester Christmas Market. We went down in the late afternoon when it was just starting to get dark, so all the chalets and stalls were lit up with little twinkling lights. The market is in the grounds of the cathedral which makes the whole atmosphere absolutely gorgeous. I bought some lovely things, including a fairy figurine from Fairyglass.
- Making my New Year's Resolutions. It's a long list this year (but the first time in a long time that the list hasn't included 'lose some weight') but if anything that makes me feel really good because I actually have goals and things that I want to achieve and do.
- Going cruelty-free. It's such an obvious thing to do that really I'm amazed I'd never thought about it before. I have always bought cosmetics that say 'this product not tested on animals' but I read recently that this is not always reliable (because the product might not have been animal-tested, but the ingredients might have been - very sneaky!). I ordered a free copy of The Little Book of Cruelty Free so that I have an at-a-glance handbook to take with me when shopping.
- Fab support and advice from you guys on my style dilemmas! The wonderful Courtney (a shooting star in the shape of a woman, if I may borrow the phrase) wrote this post about her own similar rut and how she dealt/is dealing with it. (Courtney's post contains boobs and is NSFW.)
- Working through my reading pile. Because of this very annoying headache I had a day off work this week (I am currently functional, but earlier this week that was not the case). I couldn't look at TV or computer screens so I got down to some serious reading and ploughed my way through four and a half books off my unread pile. I saw an article about how many books the average person reads in a lifetime; I'm hoping to outclass the optimum of 22,000. Unfortunately I haven't been keeping count, so one of my Resolutions for 2013 is to keep a book journal.
- I have been spending a lot of time on this Pinterest board, and highly recommend it. It really makes me feel great about myself, and the articles I have read that are linked to from here are equal parts heart-warming and heart-rending. (I actually came across the Stop The Thinspo board when I was searching for pictures of skinnier women to beat myself up with, and it stopped me in my tracks, gave me a hug (metaphorically) and put me on a much better path.)
- Shopping. Or rather, looking at shopping in a new light. I'm not buying things because they're 'Goth' or because they're this or because they're that, but because I need them, or because I really like them and they speak to me on some level. I thought that buying things I like would mean buying more, but actually, when I narrow it down to things that I really, genuinely like (again, not because they're this or that or because I'm hoping they will make me more this or that, e.g. Gothier, sexier, more stylish) I have become very picky and am buying *gasp* hardly anything. Shocker.
- Getting in contact with old friends. I dropped my best friend from school (she moved away, and I left school) a message on Facebook and we are going to start writing proper, old-school snail mail letters to each other. I am usually awful at replying to letters but I'm going to really make an effort from now on!
- My dreads starting to lock up! Today is day 71 and they are getting pretty tight and knotty. (They are also very loopy still but if anything I think that's cute...) I love how they feel, I love how they look when they are freshly washed and I have to say it, I'm proud of myself because I would never have dreamt that I would spend 71 days with terminally messy hair. I'm super-excited about having mature dreads but I am enjoying every part of this process.
- My dad. I have a pretty awesome dad. At times when I was younger we struggled to connect but now we see each other twice a week - on Saturdays for lunch and on Mondays for dinner, followed by a TV schedule including Salvage Hunters and Never Mind the Buzzcocks (gotta love Buzzcocks!), juggling lessons, and general chit-chat. I really love our routines. El Daddio is also considering starting a blog. I am trying to talk him into it.
One of the Mayan calendars ends on 21/12/12 (they made many calendars) they never predicted that this date = the end of the world. The end of the world has been predicted many times by many different people based on varying levels of bulls**t. There are websites trying to convince people that the world will end end on the 21st and guess what else they are doing...selling them tshirts and survival packs and general scaring children and uninformed people. If there happened to be a naturally occurring event like a hurricane or an earthquake on this date they would have a field day I suspect. But most likely they will go away for a bit until they decided upon the next "doomsday" date. I believe the world could end at any time and nobody can really predict it to be honest.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I read something in the news today about how our calendar doesn't just stop existing after December 31st... we just start again. I was a bit like 'oh yeah..... duh!'
DeleteAlthough I would like to add that if there was a "shift in thinking" as you described I think that would be great, and its what we need. Iam sceptical however!
ReplyDeleteAmy, I've been meaning to comment on this new blog for some time, but my life is one, big ball of dissertation/holiday insanity. HA!
ReplyDeleteI have two bits of advice for you as you transition more into the person you are meant to be: Love what you do and do what you love ... and never, ever listen to anyone else. EVER. Deep down inside is the person who you are and she is the only person you need to listen to. She knows the direction that you need to go. She knows what she likes and doesn't like. And she knows why she does what she does.
Blogging is difficult because it's so public. There are many voices out there that want you to be the person THEY need you to be. There are other voices that want you to shut you up because you are a threat. Others want to control all of your decisions. As you may remember, I had a bit of a crisis this summer as well. I was getting more into a retro style and less into "traditional" goth. Part of it was the fact that for the first time in over 10 years I actually could fit into those beautiful clothes. Additionally, I got bored of fashion blogging. Seriously, there was more to me than what I wore like art history, gardening and cooking. It still bugs the crap out of me that many readers prefer "fashion" over other things, as if my clothes make up the whole of who I am. And that's the deal: your clothes do not make up the whole of who you are, dear Amy. From what I can tell from your writing, you are an intelligent and beautiful young woman who seriously has a super bright future in any endeavor she chooses to pursue. Fashion should only be an accessory to your beautiful, intelligent self. It should allow you to shine from the inside out. It should not control you.
In my old age (40) I've come to the conclusion that being punk rock means being able to say "screw you" to any form of control, including fashion. Explore with confidence. There are no mistakes, just fun mishaps along the way. And hell, being creative and being true to yourself is never a mistake. I applaud you, darling, especially since you are doing this so publicly. LET ME HEAR YOU RAWR!!!! Wahoo! Know that I'm giving you a good, ol' fashion East Village A-OK! And a lot of hugs. MUAH!
I am overwhelmed with gratitude. <3
DeleteI often thought of your style crisis as I was going through my own... I hope that doesn't sound too weird but it was reassuring to know that it wasn't just my age or lack of experience, just something that people seem to go through from time to time as they grow and change.
I am beginning to learn to trust my own choices whether it be in little things (what to wear today) or bigger things (changing my lifestyle) and honestly it gets a little easier every day to see where the 'real' me is under all the layers of 'should do' and 'supposed to be'. Realising that my clothes do not actually define me took a while - perhaps longer than it should have! - but I'm there now.
I did think about giving up blogging entirely until I had everything figured out but I missed this method of sharing thoughts and inspiration. As you said when you came back to bloggery, it's therapeutic and I like having a soapbox. ;-)
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support you have given me, and all the encouragement. You are a huge inspiration to me! *hugs*
Aw, BIG, HUGE hugs to you, my darling. It gets easier, I promise. And yes, this kind of stuff isn't because of age or lack of experience. Everyone goes through it at various points in their life. Sometimes they end up right back where they started or they branch out and go on marvelous journeys of exploration. Wherever this takes you remember to HAVE FUN, don't take yourself too seriously (it's only fashion after all), and (as Ed always says to me) get down with your funky self. hehehe ...
DeleteThe way I look at it is like this: when you stop moving and changing you're dead. Period. Keep moving, keep changing ... and keep 'em guessing! You'll be just fine, sweetie. I know you will.
Nice one for going cruelty free! It's actually easier than it seems I think - some pretty easy-to-find shops like Superdrug surprisingly do a lot of vegan products (I think all their own brand stuff is), which is great for value and very accessable. Most of them say "BUAV approved" on the back, which is pretty reliable. Good luck with your resolutions! x
ReplyDeleteOoh, handy tip! I do shop a lot on Etsy and searching for vegan cosmetics turned up a LOT of results. I was surprised at how easy it seems to be - if cruelty-free products are so easily accessible, why is anyone buying anything else? xxx
DeleteThere are several cosmetic brands that are, as a company, cruelty-free, and they do not test on animals. However, the waters get a bit murky when companies decide to sell in nations who require their own testing in order to allow the product to be sold there. For example, in order to sell in China, the Chinese government does their own private testing, but it's up to the brand to move the maret there.
DeleteThere's also the issue of "parent-companies" who sometimes buy smaller ones (ie, L'Oreal has recently bought Urban Decay), but L'Oreal isn't 100% cruelty-free, and UD has put out statements they will remain so. I do know that L'Oreal has invested alot of capital to research alternative testing methods, but I don't know if they, themselves, have stopped all animal !esting; however, many of their subsidiaries do sell in China. L'Oreal also owns The Body Shoppe, which has maintained C-F status. Parent-companies may also put out other goods that aren't C-F, as in the case of the first company that bought UD, which was Louis Vuitton, who makes leather goods, for example (I'm using alot of UD references, as they have been a hot topic in the beauty world these past few months).
I'm not suggesting you need to take it to the extrteme, but if you want to, there is alot of research that needs to be done. I also follow several "beauty" blogs, and there are those who go so far as to toss all the product they bought prior to any knowledge or changes in a company, or before they made any lifestyle changes, and there are others who just decide not to buy any more product; there are also those who take each individual brand at face-value. Again, I'm not suggesting whichever path you take will determine whether or not you're a "true" Vegan, but if you do choose the extreme, you'll have to put in a ton of research.
I'm so happy you're cruelty free! It makes me cry thinking about those animals they test on...And it seems as though you're going cruelty free on yourself too! It's great to embrace yourself and you're inspiring me to do the same. :D
ReplyDeleteHah, that's a great way of putting it! I love that! And I'm really glad to hear that you feel that way - we all deserve to feel good, right? ^^ Damn girl, I wish you lived in this country - I'd love to have a cup of tea with you!
DeleteAww! I wish I lived in Europe soooo badly. It's pretty much my dream to move over there once I'm out of high school.
DeleteI firmly believe you should always follow your dreams. ^^
DeletePfft. I'm *way* too busy to worry about the end of the world :p
ReplyDeleteUgh, how sneaky is the animal testing thing? And I thought companies had finally seen some sense and just stopped testing on animals. The cruelty free book is a good idea.
This week I've been... packing to go to Belgium, tomorrow! Aaah I'm so excited! :D
Eeee, jealous! Have a great time! <3
DeleteHello! :) Long time admirer from afar.
ReplyDeleteI can't say how much your blogs have meant to me over the years. Oddly enough, over the past 6 months I had a similar thing to you... I felt kind of jaded with my "fully gawfic" look, and I felt so much pressure to look a certain way, be a certain way, and I really stopped enjoying my style. I ended up finally going, stuff it! And dressed how I wanted to. I now kinda look like I should be at Woodstock lol. Lots of flowing clothes, tiedyes, all natural fabrics, way less makeup, henna for dye, the works. It feels more right than anything has felt in a long time. I finally feel like my outside matches my inside.
I was scared for a long time about it, and nervous as heck. I have to say, seeing you go through something similar has really helped me.
You are completely fantastic, I happily await more posts!! xx
Oh my stars! You are amazing! <3
DeleteI'm really honoured to have helped you in any way. I am so glad that you are discovering more of your inner self and I absolutely understand the anxiety and confusion (I felt like I was being disloyal, almost, as I had insisted for years that my style of dress wasn't 'a phase' - although I still don't see it as one, it's a part of who I was/am).
Congratulations on finding your inner bohemian! ;-) xxx
Ahhh you read my post, my lovely! That was a damn hard thing to write, but it cleared a lot of space in my head, you know?
ReplyDeleteI have just handed in all of this semesters work to uni and am free for the next five weeks eeeeee! Definitely a thing I love ;)
Oh oh and being toasty by the Christmas tree. I have professed for years to not like Christmas because I was too much of a dark soul to be festive. It's all lies. Lies lies lies. BRING ON THE MINCE PIIIIIIES and the Frank Sinatra Christmas carols :D
P.S. I love when people appreciate their parents...there doesnt seem to be much respect between kids and parents anymore :/ My parents are amazing <3
I know exactly what you mean with regards to headspace. >.<
DeleteHell yeah, Christmas! My favourite Christmas song is a toss-up between Slade and The Pogues, eheheh...
Books aren't a good source imo, brands change their policy all the time. Mostly because they've lost their cruelty free supplier or they've expanded their business to China. My best tip would be research a specific brand to get an answer.
ReplyDeleteChina and their stupid animal-testing laws >_>
DeleteThanks for the advice!