Know Thyself

I was clearing out my favourites tab this week (it's a big job, believe me) and I came across a blog post from Eco In Black that I had bookmarked a while ago. This post is entitled Good Goth Keeping, (aka Know Thyself), and it's basically the start of a set of challenges to help flaily types in emotional crises, such as myself. (OK, OK, I don't know if that was quite Eco's original intent, but... that's what I'm doing with it. Eco wrote, "I realized I lost most of my sense of self. Understand: I still know what kinds of movies I like, the books I want to read, and that I still love Goth. But there are things missing, like a sense of direction, sense of control, or a even a hobby, really," and I practically exploded with relief when I read this, because this was exactly, exactly how I have felt throughout most of this year.)

The post linked to above incorporates tips one and two, which are as follows:

1. Assess your physical baggage and the psychological will follow. Get out of your own way.

2. Write. Write something. Write anything. Write. Everyday.

I already keep a good ol'fashioned paper-and-ink journal, so the writing part is not tremendously difficult for me. When not journaling I am often blogging (duh), and yesss, one of my goals for the next few months is to finally start working on some fiction projects again. I haven't approached fiction in more than a year, and as it was my first love and my whole reason for being for, oh, most of my existence, I figure it's time to give it another shot and stop letting it get pushed to the bottom of my priorities pile.

Assessing my physical baggage is... harder. I have been redecorating my lair for the better part of a year now; it's taking so long because of the sheer amount of STUFF that I have. I have gotten rid, so far, of FIFTY THREE bags of clothing, books, and miscellaneous junk. Fifty. Three. How I even managed to physically fit so much - OK, I'll say it - crap into my average-sized-to-small bedroom is beyond me. No wonder I couldn't move in there. It was getting claustrophobic. I couldn't stand to be in my own living space because I just felt overwhelmed by the volume of STUFF.

As things were.

Finally, now, I am getting somewhere with the redecoration project. I have new furniture. I have a carpet. My walls are painted (with a little help from my friends - I threw a painting party). I am really starting to love my room, although it is still a little untidy and looks somewhat like a very disorganised library.

The only downside is that I am still sifting through the junk. The trouble is that I am a hoarder, and I attach sentimental value to every damn thing. But as Eco very wisely says, "Going through the physical stuff allows the mind to go through the psychological stuff. I encourage you to get rid of the things you are lugging around to facilitate your getting rid of the ideas you're toting with you."

Currently, I am toting a lot of crap that I don't need. I look forward to being free of it. Even clearing out my favourites tab made me feel... lighter.

I am resolving to really be ruthless about my junk-sorting, to free myself of every damn thing that has no use and brings me no joy. I would like to thank Eco for motivating me to get back to work on de-junking both my space and my mind. There are so many more productive ways I could be using my headspace.