I definitely don't have what could be called 'a style' right now. I've been hoping that as I clear out my wardrobe and mix in new pieces that I really love, a personal style will emerge from all the bits and pieces I'm hanging on to. So far, though, it hasn't happened! There have been a few disasters... no, I won't be sharing pictures of those! Let's just say that harem trousers do not look good with boots, and that you can have too many pastel colours in one outfit.
As previously mentioned, I've bought a style journal, and have also been taking daily outfit snaps and making notes on them (e.g. what I liked about the outfit, what I didn't, how comfortable did I feel in it, etc.), so fingers crossed that this more organised approach will help me get more in tune with my personal style.
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| This one, I love. |
Of course, I am well aware that in the grand scheme of things, what I wear or don't wear and how I choose to present myself is actually pretty unimportant, which makes me feel a whole lot better when all I can find in my closet that doesn't have me going "asdfghjkl;" with anxiety is a fleece and a pair of skinnies. Without wishing to sound too pretentious, there is a whole world out there to explore, and it doesn't care what I happen to be wearing!
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| Not sure about this one. It's OK but not quite... there. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be quirky. |
Have any of you guys ever found yourselves in a similar rut? How did you deal with it?
I have gone through massive style evolutions over the years, don't post it til you feel comfortable! I have spent years exploring different styles! Look at pics of great ensembles and styles you like on the net for inspiration! What colours do you like? When I first started wearing colour again my ensembles were like they were chosen by someone who was colourblind, we all learn as we go! I applaud you for being brave enough! Try different things, try anything that strikes your fancy!
ReplyDeleteThank you! ^^ Your tips are great, although the answer to "what colours do you like?" at the moment is ALL OF THEM. After six years of wearing black pretty much exclusively, I'm kind of like "GAHHH, COLOUR!" which means that half the time I look either like a demented ice lolly or just as though I got dressed in the dark - so I absolutely empathise.
DeleteOh and go to lots of cheap charity shops, try and find those little dingy dusty hidden ones with $2 clothes, I always find interesting things there! And if you end up hating it, it's not a big money loss! :P
ReplyDeleteI work in a charity shop, which helps ;-D
DeleteI really like both outfits you posted! The pink jumper one is actually my favourite, because I love the lace collar of the blouse underneath poking out and the jumper is damn cute!
ReplyDeleteI definitedly understand the need for warmth over style at the moment! I'm sitting here right now wearing a black cable knit jumper and black (ok so they have gone grey from too much washing)velveteen trousers with black paint down the leg. I added a detachable peter pan collar I made last week and a silver brooch from the chairty shop as a consolation to my inner *must-have-frills* voice =P
Thank you! (Yum, cable knit and peter pan collars!)
DeleteHello hello you beautiful dready lady!
ReplyDeleteEurgh I know EXACTLY where you're coming from in this post. Just four days ago, I felt so rubbish about myself that I cleared my ENTIRE wardrobe that's taken me three years to build and chucked it all in a bin bag, leaving behind combat boots, leggings, t-shirts, a hoodie and a cardigan that's eerily similar to your skully jumper ;) While doing this was not intended to make me feel better, just stepping back and not caring- I haven't drawn my eyebrows on since my little tantrum- has actually helped me focus less on the superficial stuff.
I love the idea of a style journal! I'm pretty well aware of styles that I love and have incorporated into my wardrobe, but there's still things to try! Loving the idea of pvc atm, so a pencil skirt might be a good thing to help me ease into the more daring side of fetish and pinup ;)
Loving this new blog by the way <3
P.S. I dreaded Adam's hair and he looked like Sonic the Hedgehog :3 Yours are looking awesome, at least from the pictures :P
Ohmigod *violent hugs* I actually love you. That's really where I'm going right now - focusing on paring down to a clean slate and building back up again. I don't think I could do it all in one go though - you are SO brave, strong lady. o.O
DeleteThe journalling is fairly therapeutic - although the actual inventory process is a little scary. I've now cleared out a grand total of (eek) 59 bags, and I STILL have too much stuff. (This would be a cautionary tale for other charity shop employees... just because it's there doesn't mean you have to buy it...)
Thank you!
Ahaha... pics please XDD
Violent hugs are sometimes needed ;)
DeleteI don't consider myself to be brave, I merely got f*cked off and genuinely sick of always comparing myself to everybody. I have to admit, I feel a bit like I wanna hide my face when I haven't got eyebrows on or anything, but the FREEDOM to just bundle up in any old layers and to be COMFY that comes with not giving a crap is amazing. I tend to just dive into things headfirst instead of taking it step by step...sometimes it pays sometimes not haha >.<
O jeez, if I worked in a charity shop *shakes head*. Thing is, I like the process of recycling my wardrobe e.g. selling unwanted or unworn things on Ebay and replacing them with things I really really love with the money I earned! I don't lose money, my wardrobe doesn't (generally) get much bigger, and I have new things to love :D
HA! I shall have to dig some up now :D Oh Adaaaaaaaam XD
<3
I wouldn't mind being able to sell some of my old stuff to make a bit of pocket money, but my contract forbids selling on eBay or at car boot sales (I guess in case I stole from the shop and flogged it online?). It's a bit annoying but I'm registered with GiftAid so I do get to see how much my items raise, which I like. ^^
DeleteAargh! I agree with you on the comparison thing. Like, why? Why why why why does it matter if I'm not the prettiest or skinniest or best-dressed girl in the room? Or the Gothiest Goth, or the... whatever. I really wanted to take a step back and stop trying to compete with everyone else. The mantra of every alternative subculture seems to be 'everyone's different' - so what's the point in constant criticism and comparisons?
xxxx
That skull and crossbones jumper is made of awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It's from New Look. ^^
DeleteYour outfits look very comfortable and I love the sweaters :D
ReplyDeleteThanks! They are, indeed. ^^
DeleteI love the sweaters, the black skinnies and the boots at the first pic!
ReplyDeleteThanks :-D
Deletelove that quote :). Mine is along the lines of "if I have to wear clothing, it's going to be entertaining!". What I find myself wanting to wear changes drastically every three or four months, so I understand. I've spent the last several months building up my quirky goth wardrobe, and now that it's cold and grey, all I want to wear is candy raver cyber lolita neon stuff with candy shaped accessories, haha. And I'm sure once I've spend a few months sewing that wardrobe up, it'll change again. As long as I only make things I love in some way, I figure eventually it will make a cohesive whole of some sort :).
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you said this... I have felt weirdly disloyal because I'm attracted to such radically different styles at different times! Thank you for the reassurance (and inspiration!). :-D
DeleteI think both these outfits look great! And so do your dreads - I used to have dreads and this is making me miss them! They do actually really suit you.
ReplyDeleteThe top outfit is my favourite - you've got a really nice mix of styles going on, not too soppy but not too in-your-face either, but without being mundane. Looks ace :)
Celia x
Awww, thank you! The top one is my favourite too ^^
DeleteI have sort of been in that rut... Most of my clothes are hand me downs from my sister, and while she has plenty of clothes that definitely aren't in my style, she has just as many that I love! However, in my middle school years, I made too much of an effort of wearing the few all black outfits (more because I just liked what I look like in black instead of just trying to be different) and most of those clothes were ripped and torn apart. Not in an attractive way, more like the I'm poor and can't afford new clothes way. Thinking back on those clothes now, I feel ashamed that I went to school looking like I lived in a cardboard box. It wasn't really what people might think of me, but what they would think of my parents... Not that my parents didn't deserve to be thought of as not taking care of me, considering that they pretty much ignored what I was wearing instead of noticing my lack of wearable clothes and buying me new clothes.
ReplyDeleteI am usually in a rut just because I am still in that situation... But I now know how to cut clothes apart and make them into something new. I have taken very large shirts and made them into yoga pants, which are great for the gym as they don't have uncomfortable pockets or belt loops when lying on a gym floor. I also like to layer short skirts over pants, and I can make skirts out of pants and shirts. I should definitely put a tutorial up on those skirts soon...
Here is the tutorial on the yoga pants, if you would like. I have handsewn all of them, I don't know if you have that talent, but here it is anyways: http://www.cutoutandkeep.net/projects/yoga_pants_keep_that_logo_on_your_tshirt
Oh, brilliant! Thank you for the link. My sewing is kind of awful but I am improving with practise, hah!
DeleteI hope you clamber out of this rut soon. :-)
My dear, the very reason I started following this blog is because I'm going through a closely similar thing.
ReplyDeleteI too share a love of the whole dark alternative style, but alas, realised that it was restricting my sense of identity also. It is a very difficult to simply walk away from something you use to define, inspire and indulge yourself with, and even harder to admit to yourself that what you are aspiring to be is becoming more of an obstacle than an enjoyment.
In a world where, for lack of a better word, 'standards', of beauty are rammed down our proverbial throats at every turn, self image can be both a disillusioning and confusing prospect, and personally, I began to resent the kinds of things I had previously used as an inspirational basis for my style - not because I disliked them, but more for the fact that I felt like I was obsessing over the clean-cut image of perfection my idols portrayed, and that deep down I know that this image is achieved by technology, hours of make-up and planning that on a day-to-day basis is near impossible to achieve.
And style, to me, should never become something something you become frustrated with, especially when such frustrations come from not being able to get your hair perfectly straightened!
Dealing with the change, I'd have to say that the best thing to do is not think too deeply about your new image (lest you end up feeling frustrated again and end up back at square one, like I did >.<). Wear things that make you feel good. The kinds of things that when you catch sight of yourself in, you think 'Yes. I look good today.' A mantra I have began to live by is 'Be yourself and you'll look good doing it'. Judging by your tumblr, you're definitely on the right tracks.
Fear not dear Amy, you'll work it out. And you're not alone in your endeavours. Embrace yourself, you're beautiful (and I'm not just saying that) <3
Thank you so much for the fantastic advice. I think I'm going to write your mantra into the front of my style journal to remind me not to obsess! You are so right; overthinking these things only leads to frustration, and in most cases I don't have the budget, time or tools to look like most of the people I was holding up as idols. Fashion should be fun, or else what's the point? Once again, my sincerest thanks. <3
DeleteI'm currently in a style crisis. Though I'm doing mine a lot more logically than most with a series of style charts and research. I spent a long time looking in mainstreams stores, figuring out what I actually want from my closet, what I need and what I need to play around with more to understand better how to wear it and pushing limits. It's great watching other peoples takes on it though. It really gives a fresh perspective.
ReplyDeleteAny chance you'll be posting your style charts? I'd love, love, love to see them. Research is a good idea. I like your organised approach, very much!
DeleteAmy,
ReplyDeleteI too seem to have a similar problem. Every other year - or so - I open my (ludicrously spacious) closet and start to feel like all those painstakingly collected clothes in there belong to a complete stranger. Then a need to de-clutter and start anew emerges. It would be irritating, if it wasn't an occasion to evolve.
I feel like I am two different people right now. I wear comfortable, no-nonsense, only a little darkly-tinged clothing during my working week - yet wallow in extravagant garbs and excessive, theatric makeup when I go dancing. Hence my wardrobe suffers from a serious personality disorder: cable knit sweaters share the same space with a poufy petticoat and a bunch of see-through black lace pseudo-Victorian shirts. Maybe the day when I'll learn to effectively mix and match those two will be the day I Achieve Unity. Maybe not. :D
This whole "achieving a compact style" thing is so difficult because it is rooted in our self-image. All those, often half conscious, notions about who we would like to be and who we permit ourselves to be.
Please do not feel discouraged by the constant need of change.
I believe something interesting will come of it eventually.
Love,
Nina
Hah, your wardrobe seems to have a similar affliction to mine - slouchy jeans vs. frills and PVC!
DeleteI think you're absolutely right about the notion of a compact style - I'm always trying to dilute myself into a single signature style that will suit me for the rest of my life, but I'm starting to believe that things won't actually work that way. At least, not if I keep setting boundaries instead of allowing myself to be who I need to be.
Thank you. <3
And Amy - is it possible that some other areas in Your life need symbolic - or literal - decluttering? Is there a urgent need of a change in a field that You (maybe even without giving it much thought) believe cannot be changed at all?
ReplyDeleteIt used to be the case with me. Sometimes an image crisis grows its roots deeper.
Love, Nina
You are quite right. I have been changing and rearranging a lot of things, my style is only one small aspect of a huge lifestyle overhaul... but yes, there are probably a few things I've been overlooking because I've been assuming they can't be changed.
DeleteAgain, thank you.
I loove the sweater and boots in the first one and the jeans in the second one. :3
ReplyDelete